Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Partying Like It's 1994?

Tonight is the night before Thanksgiving. Every year I put up a post on Facebook asking who wants to go to Chuck's tonight. A little background. In my (and many of my friend's) salad days, we went to a bar on the SU campus called Hungry Charley's. We called it Chuck's. Wednesday nights were buy one get one pitchers and we'd go. But the night before Thanksgiving was a special night. People returned from college or visit from out of town and we'd wind up at Chuck's. (I've written about Chuck's before.)

It was a dive, in the basement. It had a horrible ventilation system, only served shitty beers on tap along with a few bottle choices and had assholes for bouncers (I know, I got my ass kicked by one). It also had decent prices, pretty good sangria and a Star Trek: The Next Generation pinball machine that ate almost as much money as the beer. (I also liked their chicken fingers, but maybe that had more to do with the beer than the chicken.) My beverage of choice was either Killian's Red or Honey Brown with Honey Brown being my favorite. I was reminded of that tonight.

Like just about everyone else in the free world, I had to go to Wegmans this afternoon. I had some errands to run, including picking up my dog's ashes (I'll write about that another time...I can't now, I've tried and I just can't) but I was going to try to avoid a trip to Wegmans. But my wife, who works at Wegmans, slipped and fell at work, hurting her surgically repaired knee. I brought her to the doctor and she got a thumbs up to go back to work, so I took her back. And she gave me a list of things I needed to get. No problem. I made good time and, having joked about Chuck's, perused the beer corner at the big W.

Now, something you need to know about me, I am not a big drinker. I put my time in during the early to mid-90s and that was enough. I'll crack open an occasional hard soda or a beer once in an almost literal blue moon. Honestly, in 11 months of 2017, I've had maybe 5 beers. Tonight I decided to make six. I walked by the craft beers, the hard sodas (which I love) and the ciders, finding a sixer of Honey Brown. But I was worried. I was worried about my daughter.

She seems very aware of when I drink and, for some reason, it bothers her. A few weeks back, we went to a family birthday party and I ordered a beer. My daughter was very upset and I have no idea why. I don't drink very often and I don't drink enough to alter my behavior. Okay, there is only one time I can think of where I drank more than usual (limoncello and something called Strega was involved, it was as fun as it sounds) and I don't remember her being upset about it. So I wondered. My daughter and I talk, so I asked her about it during the week and she said she just didn't like me drinking alcohol, though she was still evasive. This is a continuing conversation between us and I'll get to the bottom of it.

I waited until well after dinner was digested and cracked open a Honey Brown. And the first sip transported me back to 1994. No, really. (The good 1994, not the bad one I've blogged about before.) Now, Honey Brown isn't "great" beer. Hell, it's not even "good" beer, but Christ, it was delicious. It has been literally 20-something years since the last time I drank a Honey Brown. It was everything I remembered and more. I've had some good beers over the years. High quality stuff. But they couldn't hold a candle to the Honey Brown I drank tonight. Maybe it's the nostalgia of one too many nights in a dive of a bar filled with too much smoke and floor muck. Maybe it's the memory of having over 30 people show up, unannounced or uninvited, at my house some summer nights back then. Who knows? But it was the best beer I've had in years. And like I said, I was 21 again. And it was glorious.

My daughter noticed the bottle. She was okay with it, but did ask if it was the only one I was going to have. (I haven't had more than one beer in one day in easily over ten years!) When I assured her that it was, she didn't bother me again. But my son on the other hand, was despondent, but not for the reasons you think.

"Daddy, my gosh, why does your breath smell like that? What did you eat?"
"What does my breath smell like?"
"Garbage," he says, "like you're eating garbage."
"I'm drinking a beer, buddy."
"Well, I want you to stop, your breath smells like poop."

So, at least we know why my son doesn't like me nursing a beer.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Swoon Reads: WINTER'S DISCORD, The Character List

I took the plunge a few weeks back and submitted my "YA Game of Thrones" novel WINTER'S DISCORD to Swoon Reads. I'm keeping an eye on how it's doing and reading comments being left by readers. One was that there are a lot of characters (true) and it is hard to keep track of them. There is a Character List at the end of the book, but it's a nightmare to toggle back and forth between it and the pages readers are on. So, I decided to post it here. It has to be easier to move back and forth between browser pages or apps on a phone. So, here you go. And if you're not reading it yet, click on the link, register for the site and give it a whirl. Thanks.

Winter’s Discord
Dramatis Personae

The Grange Family
Duke Thomas Grange, Duke Paramount of the Heartlands
[Duchess Rebecca (Gander) Grange, first wife of the Duke]
            Samuel Grange, their Blessed son
Duchess Emma (Ellerton) Grange, second wife of the Duke
                        Kirsten Bartlett, a lady-in-waiting
                        Saundra Blane, a lady-in-waiting
                        Serena Heath, a lady-in-waiting
            Harold Grange, his heir
                        Matthew Stumps, his crony
                        Eric Cross, his crony
            Benjamin Grange
                        Marcus Green, an outrider and companion
                        Johnny Mules, his companion
                        Charlie Duster, his companion
                        Vester Duster, his companion
                        Mikey Duster, his companion
                        Egan Norlander, his companion
            Jessica Grange
                        Elizabeth Dowdell, a lady-in-waiting
                        Kathleen Endicott, a lady-in-waiting
                        Nell Cole, a lady-in-waiting

                        Elario Venette, the Duke’s Advisor and rumored sorcerer
                        Sir Adam Wyndham, captain of the guard
                        Serjeant Roarke, a guard
                        Murielle Cook, a cook
                        Edwyn, a guard
                        Kelene, a servant
                        Brody, Master of the Horse
                        Oscar Blane, the Duke’s valet
The Fields Family
Sir William Fields, master-at arms for Grange Manor
[Mina (Farthing) Fields]
            Jeremy Fields
            Alicia Fields, Jessica’s lady-in-waiting

The Meadows Family
Lord Paul Meadows, Duke of the Westmarch
Lady Marielle (Stanfield) Meadows, 41, his wife
            Sir Theo and Sir Thom Meadows, twins
            Peter Meadows
            Amelia Meadows

The Graydon Family
Lord Hallam Graydon, Baron of Wolf Hollow
Lady Kendra (Irons) Graydon, his wife
            Lewis Graydon
            Victoria Graydon

The Chase Family
Lord Eldon Chase, Earl of Teasedown
Lady Benethea (Oakley) Chase, his wife
            Sir Walton Chase, his heir and eldest son, friend of Harold’s

The Gaines Family
Lord Francis Gaines, Earl of Renfield
Lady Joanne (Gill) Gaines, his wife  
            Sir Lukas Gaines
            Colton Gaines
            Kimberly Gaines, a lady-in-waiting to Jessica Grange

The Rhodes Family
Lord Lleyton Rhodes, the earl of Westfield
            Deron Rhodes
            Adam Rhodes

Heartland Vassals: Graydon, Royce, Bannock, Vinland, Wheaton, Prior, Cotton, Rhodes, Chase, Blane, Cornwall, Crossley, Mead, Heath, Still, Gaines, Grass, Ellings

The Drake Dynasty
King Vitor Drake, King of Galidan
Queen Thalia, his wife, a Thalassan
Princess Isabella Drake, the Crown Princess
            Mistress Miranda Fitts, her governess
                        Christine Stockley, a lady-in-waiting
Hailey Anstanando, a lady-in-waiting
Gianna Fortia, a lady-in-waiting
            Denholm Marron, the King’s secretary
            Mistress Adele Bunn, the Queen’s secretary

Prince Vincent Drake, Disposed Crown Prince, known as “The Bachelor Prince”
            Yvan Sorretto, the spymaster
                        Tybalt and Dennis, soldiers in Yvan’s service
            Sarita, a watcher and later Jessica Grange’s governess
            Garrett Dalibar, his swordmaster
            Marco Apareaz, his physician
                        Reynold Apareaz, his son and knight candidate
The Maglore Family
Duke Jurrell Maglore, Lord High Steward, Duke of the Black Capes
            Sir Owyn Maglore, his son
            Veronica Maglore, his daughter
Marlon Gorash, a page

The Burleigh Family
Lord Carlton Burleigh, Duke of the Gates
            [Sir Francis Wayman, a knight]
                        Elliot Wayman, his son

The Snowdale Family
Lady Alice Snowdale, Baroness of the
            Elise Snowdale, her niece
                        Arrosa, her maid’s daughter

The Vanaccio Family
Lord Alonso Venaccio, the Earl of Cape Paranccio
            Rodrigo Venaccio
            Tyla Venaccio
            Sir Oliver Gallins, master at arms

The Ellestare Family
Lord Niles Ellestare, the Count of Gabbins Downs
            Brent Ellestare
                        Hugh Beaumont, his companion
                        Will Oarster, his companion

The Drummond Family
Duke Timothy Drummond, Duke of Welford
            Sir Malcolm Worley, master at arms

Crownland Vassals: Fulbright, Shalesworth, Brighton, Graves, Stepford, Stockley, Burleigh, Gloriarra, Ellers, Snowdale, Caspari, Delia, Brand, Cromwell, Sofre, Neeves, Fulbright, Cowan, Angier, Calvencho, Rogoux, Collinsworth, Jonio
Nahrish Vassals: Volstaad, Meldore, Balgore, Evgoth, Garum, Gorash, Sothosh, Skalus, Adeleh, Vainglore, Nallone, Dulmash
Western Vassals: Worley, Bullock, Varens, Whalen, Gannon, Sweeney, Wast, Zellers, Beverly, Weston, Hagen
Orchardland Vassals: Bartlett, Braeburn, Grover, Hazelton, Hamlin
Atlasian Vassals: Oarster, Dunn, Gilbride, Gavanaugh, Dacey, Farthing, Bollingsworth
Vehrish Vassals:  Hanover, Lange

Knights of the Golden Rose (Unoathed)
Sir Kevin Southerly, Order of the Horned Boar
Sir Roland Durgo,
Sir George Venner
Sir John Farthing
Sir Michael Correy
Sirs Talbot and Trent Ironwood

Knight Candidates at the Summerhurst
See tourney rosters

Knight Instructors at the Summerhurst
Sir Nathaniel Bullock, Knight Commandant of Summerhurst
Sir Dwight “Dewey” Zellers, Earl of Amdel
Lord Frederico Arizzio, Count of Estwyk
Sir Rickard Dacey
Sir Abner Bollingsworth

The King’s Heavy Cavalry at Grange Manor
Sir Douglas Moore, Captain of the Expedition
                        George Umber, a corporal and his valet
            Sir Keith Evgoth

From Naobi
Omazo Swelzod, a prince and cadet
            Amo and Lessolo Birenty, his cousins

From the Seldish Republic
Donnal Loyngran, an ambassador

From Anakhabar
Prince Abulkazhir, the crown prince

From Sethic Duchies
Myron Kuttle

The Challenge Cup Tourney Rosters

The Prince’s Men (mixed)
Brannen Worley, Omazo Swelzod
Phillip Varens, Greg Weaver
Hal Coventry, Robin Terrell
Jeremy Fields, Charles Swift
The Third Sons (Nahrish/ Crownland)
Ben Grange, Evan Brecker
Stephon Meldore, Julien Brendell
Lloyd Yost, Adam Vanders
Craig Belgore, Jeff Cooley
The Angry Cocks (mixed)
Silas Garrow, Benton Vedder
Donnell Avery, Louis Vanard
Jack Post, Henry Vale
Barrett Vogel, Erik Bent
The Mad Bullmen (Veihish)
Conrad Veilt, Edward Ragan
Herest Kilen, Gunter Vagler
Gerald Vokk, Karl Brandt
Hugo Larget, Ian Ehrends
The Stone Dragons
Alexander Jasper, Vincent Cork
Winston Brass, James Welt
Aaron Bender, Michael Fenton
John Pinchbeck, Jeff Forrest
The Bloody Barbers
Radley Simcoe, Edison Winslow
Vito Corso, John Wylie
Vance Amando, Edward Teake
Massimo Ogato, Benito Delsoro
The Wild Ponies
John Hastic, Terrence Dahl
Derek Brill, Norman Zucker
Henry Tock, Garrett Belt
David Boyer, William Heck
The Green Griffins (Woods/ Heartlands)
George Chase, David Meade
Winton Faile, Benson Oakley
Kevin Noomes, Nathan Currell
Felton Woodale, Bryan Chestnut
The Red Shepherds (Veihish)
William Huft, Wendel Murst
Ned Salz, Myron Faltzen
Erik Dabin, Kelvin Frontel
Braden Fotz, Peter Ochs
The Night Watch
(West/ Crownlands)
Chris Heath, Michael Sapp
Brett Cobb, Dennis Wystin
Matthias Bale, Lleyton Renton
Ned Winstrom, Phillip Vernon
The Border Reavers (East)
Brandon Weller, Simon Merridew
Brian Ghant, Jack Sydell
Bryan Bowyer, Wesley Venter
Harold Worrell, Reginald Pyke
Diamonds in the Rough (Stonemen)
Adam Fetters, Corey Toledo
Nathan Rockwell, Joseph Bessemer
Edward Gold, Seth Coldiron
Peter Furrey, Ralph Silver
The Craftsmen (Crownlands)
Phillip Dauson, William Fox
Jack Snow, Patrick Debbons
Thomas Ash, Louis Debbinia
John Wenners, William Breyers
The Terrible Titans (Atlas)
William Cordovan, Casey Sutcliff
Chris Mims, Walter Janett
Thomas Farwell, Steven Brisby
Joshua Helton, Jarod Nokes
The Iron Redoubts (Stonemen)
Fredrick Copper, Selwyn Irons
Kevin Jordan, Ezekiel Nickelworth
Tucker Ore, Mark Cliffton
Ronnell Invar, Thad Tungsten
The Lions of Atlas (Atlas)
Rhett Upton, Harris Farley
Brenden Poulter, Dennis Perman
Corey Wells, Ryan Mayhew
Dean Bryce, Roger Waylan

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Marvel Cinematic Universe Redux

Back in June 2015 I did a ranking of all the Marvel movies. I'm now caught up all the way through GOTG Vol 2, so I thought that I'd update my list since I moved some around and ranked the new ones. So, in reverse order:

15. IRON MAN 2: The movie is a mess. It has moments but it's the weakest MCU movie.

14. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON: Another mess of a movie. How can one movie (Winter Soldier) get Black Widow so right while this one gets her so wrong? I mean the Hulkbuster was awesome, the party scene was fun and Ultron was a worthy opponent, but the character stuff fell short when it was good and was offensive when it was bad. It feels like some of the worthy human opponents of the Avengers got cast aside in favor of the big baddies.

13. THE INCREDIBLE HULK: See my previous post.

Again, if this were a race, these would be way behind.

12. THOR
11. IRON MAN 3
 (See previous post, but IRON MAN and THE AVENGERS both moved down a slot.)

8. ANT-MAN: Marvel's attempt to do a heist movie with a lighter tone...and it works in spades. It helps that Paul Rudd is charming as hell and the rest of the cast is pitch perfect, which is something you could say about every one of these movies. The movie balances the comedy perfectly with the action of a Marvel movie while building on the mythology of the universe, which is important at this point in the MCU. And yes, I think it's a better movie than all those other one, mostly because I think that Marvel's really good at doing these films at this point, so it's a sharper product this time around.

7. DOCTOR STRANGE: A terrific and exciting introduction of the mystic side of the MCU. Benedict Cumberbatch oozes charm and brings a character I knew very little about to the forefront, instantly making him a major player in the MCU. His mention in Winter Soldier helped, which makes me want to look up a MCU timeline to see where these movies take place in relation to one another. But that's a question for another time. I liked Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One a lot. I know that's an unpopular opinion, but the hand waved explanation worked for me and it fit the story. The supporting cast was terrific as well, which is just as important as anything else in the MCU. My only gripe with the movie is that they completely wasted Rachel McAdams.

Back to the race analogy: movies 7-12 would be in a pack, close together and sometimes switching order, depending on my mood at the time. The next set is a little bit ahead but in a close pack as well.

6. THOR: THE DARK WORLD: See my original post, but this one dropped a bit because of some additions and a promotion of another.

5. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER: See original post, but I moved this up substantially because, really, the Captain America movies are so much better than the rest and this one really is well done, so I felt it deserved the promotion.

4. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2: I really, really liked this movie. I don't know why people didn't like this movie. I thought it was a great continuation of the first movie that expanded on the idea of family in so many ways while adding depth. I love the whole father/son theme that ran through the entire film and the terrific shout outs (as a film buff, English teacher and 80s nostalgia buff) that the movie makes. The continuing fleshing out of the galactic side of the MCU is important to the upcoming Infinity Wars while giving inspiration for the forthcoming THOR: RAGNAROK. It also kept the same tone as the first movie, which I thought was incredibly important, while upping the stakes, another incredibly important part of this universe.

3.CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR: Really the best Avengers movie made. It had everything you'd want and built on everything that happened in WINTER SOLDIER while effectively poaching what actually worked in AGE OF ULTRON. The movie had me on the edge of my seat for almost the entire movie and the quiet moments were just as good as the loud moments. And the loud moments were amazing, visually, story wise and emotionally. Every aspect of it was damn near perfect but it's only 3 because while I think it's a better movie than my number 2, I thought number 2 was even more entertaining and did more.

2. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY: See my original post. If I was ranking these movies as the BEST, this would slide down to 3, but it's so entertaining that it's still my 2.

Okay, the race analogy still stands. 2-6 are a close cluster, but number 1 is far and away ahead. The right balance of a great movie and an entertaining movie. I just rewatched it this weekend and man, it was amazing, so number one:


Monday, August 14, 2017

Missing the Sense of Awe

I had a thought last week while writing. It was sort of out of the blue and it brought my writing to a screeching halt. It's not a bad thing. I was at the end of a chapter and really happy with the progress I. I made. I still don't know exactly what this book is, but I'm very happy with it and I'm already thinking of ways to fix it in the next draft. It needs a heavy rewrite and is definitely not ready for eyes other than my own. It's very much a zero draft.

When I write, I usually multitask, so I had a couple of browser windows open and was moving back and forth between school stuff, my writing and some good old fashioned book browsing over on Goodreads, seeing if there was any good epic fantasies I was missing. I'm thinking a little bit ahead and have some ideas of what I want to write in the coming months. One of the things I want to do is go back to my roots and write a new spin on an old school epic fantasy. I want to sort of go back to school and study some of those kinds of books to see how I can spin them. As I was looking at some of the Goodreads lists and I was overcome with a sense of melancholy about some of the books I was seeing. Let me explain.

I cut my teeth on LORD OF THE RINGS, DRAGONLANCE and DRIZZT. That was my early education in fantasy. It's a pretty good list, nothing to shake a stick at. I learned a lot from them and they are formative parts of who I am as a person and a writer. But as I was looking at these lists that people made or added to, I was overcome with a degree of sadness at all the things that I missed as a young reader. I didn't read Lloyd Alexander, Terry Brooks, David Eddings, Tamora Pierce, Robert Jordan, Tad Williams, Robin McKinley, Guy Gavriel Kay, Diana Wynne Jones, David Gemmel or Melanie Rawn as a teen, and I can't help but feel like I missed out on something.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've read many of these authors and their work over the years, but I think there is something that I'm missing by reading them as an adult. And that something keeps getting more and more distant the older I get. When I read LOTR or DRAGONLANCE as a middle schooler, there was a sense of whimsy, of awe at the work I was reading. The characters. The world. The intricate plots. There was something to that feeling. There was some weight to it that has stuck with me all these years later. And as I've gotten older, that feeling isn't there as much anymore. And that struck me with a deep sense of sadness.

There are still books that move me, don't get me wrong. There are books that as soon as I start reading them put me in that right state of mind that is close to that feeling. A GAME OF THRONES did it when I first read it in December of 2000 in Oswego, That one changed my life. NY. SHIP BREAKER did it when I read it a few years back. Most recently MYSTIC RIVER really wowed me. But it's not the same as the sense of wonder and awe I got as I read about Boromir's death or the Battle of Helm's Deep or the Ride of the Rorhirrim. I know this is fact because I recently reread the DRAGONLANCE books and the Battle of the High Clerist's Tower fell flat. And that made me sad. The wonder was gone.

Was it me? Or was it the work? Or was it a combination?

Had I become so angry, so jaded that these things of wonder didn't register with me anymore? The HARRY POTTER books came close, but not nearly close to the memory of the way I felt reading LOTR or DRAGONLANCE.

Was it the romance of the experience? The days of bookstores is nearly over. I can remember vividly buying the DRAGONLANCE books at an independent bookstore in the local mall. I remember obsessing over them and devouring them. The entire experience was romantic, I suppose. I can remember the cold and snow as I bought them. I remember what they meant to a giant, awkward me in the halls of Soule Road Middle School. I remember being more comfortable with those worlds than my own.

And maybe that's enough. Maybe that memory is enough. But there's still an underlying sadness in that I'll never experience that again.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

A Romantic Notion

Thursday night, I did something I view as "romantic." I wrote by candlelight.

We had a power outage. A big storm came blowing through (a motif this Summer) and after a few hiccups with the power, it eventually decided to crap out on us, leaving us without lights, television and the blessed Internet. It was just about dusk, so there was still some light out but it was just dark enough to not be completely comfortable. Both of my kids were a little freaked out about it, especially my son Cooper.

Cooper can be skittish when presented with things that aren't routine or normal. A power outage at dusk is something that clearly falls into those parameters. He curled up on to my lap only the way a tiny skittish boy of four can, begging me to turn the lights back on. I often say that if I could I would move Heaven and Earth for my children but the laws of physics dictate that I can't. (Reason 437 why my wife things I'm annoying.) I soothed him as best I could, assuring him that everything was alright and I was right there with him (albeit playing a rousing game of Candy Crush on my phone) as I held him.

Cooper is a cuddler and has a thing for ears (that's going to be a fun middle school phone call, isn't it?), so as we sat curled into a ball of Zeleznik crammed into an oversized leather chair, he rubbed my ear like a well worn worry stone. Luckily, Cooper has been attending a summer camp at his daycare and was particularly tired. I also took him swimming at my in-laws, so with no electronics to overstimulate him, sleep came quickly in the dark. It was a relief.

Across the room, my wife Kim complained that she was going to have to sit in her car to charge her phone because she was under 10 %. My phone wasn't much better at just south of 30%. (Admittedly, Candy Crush wasn't helping.) We are staying in a rental place while repairs are taking place at the house, so we do not have a land line. Our cell phones are necessities, so keeping them charged is a must. Kim suggested taking a ride to see how many people didn't have power. I was all for it except for the bundle of nervous four year old curled beside me. I suggested that she, Natalie and my mother take a ride and leave me at home. I was afraid that if Cooper woke up and I wasn't there, he'd be even more skittish than usual. So they left, taking my phone (now under 20%) with them to charge and leaving me with my mother's phone, just in case.

As the sun waned, I noticed some candles on the hutch in the dining room. I also had my trusty writer's notebook. I could write. I might as well right since I had nothing going on, so I set Coop down on the chair and set about hunting for a lighter or match or something. It took about fifteen minutes to find a match and it took two matches to light the candle. (I am not a smoker and my pyromania ended in my mid-twenties.) It created a lot more light than I expected and I set about working. I wrote most of this in that time period and also worked on a section of THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE, which I started to feel like I was stalling and decided to charge through it and fix what I'm seeing as glaring issues in the rewrite. It was the right decision.

As I was writing, I began to wonder if this is what writing was like for the writers of yore. There was a notion of romanticism in it, like I was somehow writing something of great importance. Something that had some weight to it. (It's neither of those things.) I liked the way it felt. I mean, sure, I was using a Pilot G2 pen, not a fountain pen or a quill. I was writing in an old school composition notebook, not on parchment or in some fancy notebook. (I still hold out hope that one day I will upgrade myself to a fancy notebook though I'm still a fan of the durability and versatility of the composition notebook.) I don't know how long I wrote for, but the session ended when I got a text message from Kim that she wanted me to open the garage door. And like a dope, I tried to do it, forgetting there was no power. As the girls entered the house, Kim and I laughing about how we were both idiots about the garage door. the power popped on. Just in time for Natalie and I to catch our Thursday night tradition of watching the Gong Show together.

Maybe I'll write by candlelight some more in the future. Maybe not.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

So That Was July

Whenever I make ambitious plans for my life, I find that they almost always collapse under the weight of my expectation and reality. And that'exactly what happened in July. I had ambitious plans and just couldn't exactly hit the marks I wanted to hit. I still did okay, but not as well as I'd wished. But I'm actually okay with it and that's as important as part of the process as doing the writing sometimes.

I didn't blog as much as I'd liked. Summer school has kept me busier than I thought as I work at making sure the kids have enough work to do...not that they are doing it, but I want to make sure there isn't idle time beyond when they decide they aren't doing the work. It's kind of a wasted expenditure of energy but a necessary one. It's mildly soul crushing because most of these kids just don't care but are showing up every day to just hang out in my room, watch videos and shoot the shit. And comically I think most of them think they are passing....but I promised that I wasn't going to spend a lot of space talking about my job on this blog so I won't. I still blogged more than I have at other times. I blogged more than I have since I first came over to Blogger from LiveJournal.

I've got some ideas for blogs I want to write, including one on how the quality of the Vacation movies are entirely dependent on the quality of the Audrey and Rusty.

Life has been busy, as it usually is. Between what I'll call "fire business" to general tiredness from school, I've found myself back into a cycle of doing mindless stuff when I've gone home when I'm not busy with actual things to do like doctor's appointments, stuff with the kids and other errands that need to be done. It always disappoints me that I fall into this cycle but I have to learn to stop beating myself up over this. I'm learning but it's hard.

My Harry Potter read is moving along, slower than I want. I'm on Prisoner of Azkaban and I have some thoughts about how it might've been the one that "grew the beard" for the HP series. I'm going to add that to the blog idea list as well, plus an explanation of that specific trope. I'm itching for some big book epic fantasy and plan on using the later Potter books as a primer for that.

Finished 11 books for the month including a fun book about Godzilla and a few YA books that really surprised me. I'm listening to The Well's End by Seth Fishman (a literary agent that I would love to work with) in the car (it's a little tropey but really, really good) and still plodding through Alexander Hamilton. I'm well on my way to finishing 120 books for the year.

As for the reason you all came here, the writing. I only got about 10,000 words, which is way below what I was hoping for. However, I'm very happy with those words. This story is really something and it's moving along nicely. The issue I'm having with it is that I've been pantsing it, so the narrative can me a little muddled and I'm letting things surprise me as I find them in the writing. I've been tempted to do what I call half-drafting it. What that means in terms of me is stopping the draft where it is and starting over, cleaning up what I already wrote to get the ending right. I call it halving because I create a new file and give it a .5 designation. That means this would be saved as Picture1.5. I'm not sure if I'm there yet, but I know there's things I want to add to the story from where I am now, but part of me wants to just get through it and then fix it later. I will let you all know. The word count stands at just north of 45k. I'd like to make a run at finishing it this month and that's very doable.

My other works kind of fizzled. I did some stuff on the next epic fantasy I want to write and messed around with my Instagram fiction idea a little, but I'm not locked into it yet.

I'm not making plans for August. Maybe that'll help me actually do all the things that I want to do.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Despite All My Rage

I have an anger problem. If you've spent any time with me outside of the digital world, you know this already. Maybe you don't. But I do and I was thinking about this a lot this week. But to tell you this story, I have to tell you a story first.

The other day I was driving around doing errands. I canceled my satellite radio recently and I am stuck with local radio again. So as I'm scanning the channels, I find myself completely alarmed at the number of Inspirational music channels there are in the Syracuse area. Seriously. Something you need to know about me is that I have an almost perverse, obsessive, intense disdain for the music. So this means that I actively listen to it just to be angry at it. This is a sickness.

Now I'm not going to go into my own issues with faith and religion. If you didn't know, I am a practicing Catholic. But I have questions and issues with the Church that I'm going to leave between me, the Church and the Almighty, So I have a hard time in believing that someone believes in something that much that they sing about it. It's unreasonable for me to feel this way. It could come to my own issues with faith, it could come from the hypocrisy I see in Christianity as a whole, I'm not quite sure. If someone believes in something and it makes them feel good, good for them. But it seems that I draw the line at Inspirational music. I find it false, sappy and disingenuous. Are people in such a need to be told they are special and they are loved that they find solace in this garbage? And I am (probably wrongfully) judging you for listening to it.

So I'm hate listening to one of the numerous stations broadcasting this crap and flipping between the station (that I do not remember) and KROCK Syracuse (one of two "modern" rock stations in town, though modern rock now is more like classic rock when I was a kid...but this is a discussion for another post). On the inspirational channel was a song called "Live Like You Are Loved." That I remember the song bothers me so much. It's sung by a group called Hawk Nelson. No, seriously. That's their name. I was relieved when I found out it was a band not a single singer. According to Wikipedia (dubious, I know) they are a "pop punk" band. I'm sorry, excuse me while I pee my pants laughing. They were nominated in the Alternative Rock category for some Christian music award show. Oops, sorry I peed my pants.

There is NOTHING "alternative" about these guys. Anyway, back to my story....KROCK on the other hand was playing "The Vengeful One" by Disturbed. I was obviously drawn to this. Then I began to question why. What was it about the Disturbed song that drew me where the Hawk Nel....I almost made it through that without laughing....son song didn't. What about one made sense to me and the other didn't? I'm not a dark guy. I'm not drawn to darkness. But if you listen to Disturbed there is a rage there...and I can relate to that. I can access rage and work with it. I feel it almost constantly, just under the surface of my being, like a coiled spring. And sometimes I let it get the better of me. And when it's over, I feel small and empty. Until it builds back up in me. It's one of the reasons the Hulk has always been one of my favorite superheroes. And people that know me a little can see it in me I think. It's probably the reason that I hate listen to inspirational music. I need something to focus my rage on and it's as good a place as any.

I don't have an ending for this. Some wise comment, some connection to my writing. I think if I wrote angry it would be very Overlook Hotel-ish, but I've discussed how writing makes me feel when I'm doing it. So know that if you see me, much like the Hulk, I am always angry.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

About The Ed Sheeran Thing

If you're living under a rock somewhere and didn't realize it, Sunday night was the season premier of Game of Thrones. Now I could do an entire episode rundown discussing how I thought it was damn near perfect. I could talk about that great opening (which despite being completely telegraphed was awesome), Cersei's descent into insanity, the Euron/Jaime snark fight, Jon/Sansa, Lyanna Mormont (do we not all love her?) or the gorgeous shots of the castles and keeps of Westeros. But I'm not going to do that

I love a good table setting and seeing the pieces being moved into place. This episode did that just brilliantly. My former agent used to say the opening chapter of the "next" book always should have some summary to catch the reader up. Well D&D did that perfectly, giving us tastes of what was going to happen. There were some great moments in the episode, including a few that I seemed to like more than a lot of people on the interwebs. No, I'm not going to talk about Sam's shit duty (see what I did there), though technically it was a brilliant piece of technical film making. I'm talking about a certain cameo.

The interwebs went crazy at the inclusion of pop/rock star Ed Sheeran. People really seem to hate Ed. I don't. I kind of dig his music. I've reached that age where I'm kind of stuck in the loop of the same music over and over and Ed kind of fits in there. And the producers put him in what I thought was a great scene, one that did so much (besides featuring him singing) to make Arya's murder tour that much more difficult as we met what appeared to be a decent bunch of Lannister soldiers sharing a meal and offering Arya a seat and the first bite. You can see the doubt in Arya that the ideas of good and evil aren't do simple. But people didn't seem to notice that. They noticed poor Ed Sheeran. I guess that the heat got so bad, he had to delete his Twitter account.

I don't understand the hate for this. If you don't like his music or whatever, then good for you. But to hate him for doing a cameo on your favorite show then you are a petty, jealous little troll. I'm serious. We all wish that we had that level of fame where we could appear on our favorite shows or movies. Who cares that he did this? I've also heard that Mets pitcher Noah "Thor" Syndergaard  put in a cameo this season as well. How is this a big deal when it's been going on forever?

Star Trek has done celebrity cameos for years and years. And I'm not talking about guest stars...I'm talking background cameos. Freaking Iggy Pop, one of the coolest humans of all time, got put in make up to play a Vorta on DS9. (Okay, maybe that was an extended cameo, but you get my meaning.) There are whole websites dedicated to famous cameos in Star Trek shows and movies (not to mention the "before they were famous" appearances). Star Wars has done the same thing. There was a similar outcry when there was a rumor that George Lucas put N*Sync in Star Wars and even then I felt it was much ado about nothing. There have been senators in Batman movies, athletes in comedies (and tons of scifi) and even royalty playing starship crewmen.

We've become a society that does nothing but hate. We take our personal bitterness, anger and jealousy and blast it out into the ether. We aren't allowed to love the things we love anymore, just defend them. We want to tell people that they aren't allowed to love what we love because they aren't "real" fans. And I'm growing tired of it.

So, Ed Sheeran, if you read this. Welcome to the fandom. I'd suggest checking out Ran's board, creating an account and joining the conversation, we'd love to hear your insights, even if you're just a TV watcher. And if you'll indulge me...was the Lannister armor as uncomfortable as it looked? Thanks.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Thoughts On Harry Potter, Part 2: The Sorcerer's Stone

Man, I forgot how great a book that The Sorcerer's Stone was. Every choice that Rowling makes is the right one, even the one at the beginning I disagree with. She's truly a master and I can't figure out what the editors that passed on it were thinking. I'm sure many of them are thinking the same thing. 

The first book was a study in economy. Both of words and plot points. Rowling doesn't waste a single thing. They all serve some purpose to the story and she doesn't waste them. She includes the things that are important to the story and doesn't belabor it. It's refreshing that every minute detail isn't described in every minute detail. We don't need to see example after example of how Snape hates Harry, she establishes it, revisits it only when it's absolutely necessary. It's really brilliant. 

The book is filled with terrific whimsy too and moments that just reverberate when they happen, especially on the reread. When Harry, Ron and Hermione become the Harry, Ron and Hermione we all know and love, it's magical. (It's always three isn't it?) Neville is so much more special than I remember him and feel there's a terrific sidestory there. I had forgotten about the fight they get into with Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle during the Quidditch match (that wasn't in the movie). It's a pivotal moment, because Ron wades in because Ron is Ron, but terminal coward Neville adopts an "ahh, f-it" attitude and charges into battle. No questions. No prodding. Just a straight up "these are my boys." It's terrific foreshadowing of the hero Neville becomes. 

We get more of the world and it's wonderful, but you can tell there's a curtain to pull back and that's just what makes it so special. Rowling's tone is terrific and it still feels appropriately middle reader, but the books grew up with the readers and I'm looking forward to see how the tone changes as Rowling recognizes her audience. 

Now, on to The Chamber of Secrets.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Thoughts On Harry Potter, Part 1

Well, this whole blogging every day had fizzled for a bit but I am still writing. Not exactly the pace I want, but I've been expending a lot of energy on summer school. I'm disappointed in myself, but here I go dipping my toe back into the blogging water.

I began my reread of Harry Potter yesterday obviously starting with Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. I forgot how genuinely genius these books were and Rowling's mastery. I had the book on my nightstand for a few weeks and I picked it up just to peruse the opening, then I looked up and it was 20 minutes later, so I had to force myself to put it aside, I had to bring my daughter to lacrosse practice. It's really amazing and draws you right in. You are transported to that alternate 1991. I'm about a third of the way through and love being fully immersed in the world for the first time in many, many years.

Rowling is a master worldbuilder and probably doesn't get the credit in the fantasy lit world for being so. Her magical world is just so well thought out. And she doles it out in nice bite sized portions for us to learn about without it being overbearing. The interesting part is that, as I remember them, the early books are very middle reader and as they go on they become very young adult then transfigures into something that borders on epic fantasy. And all along, she follows the rules she establishes early on with just the right amount of wiggle room where it doesn't matter.

Anyway, there's something I do want to address that was pointed out a few weeks back in a Twitter discussion I was having with Brianna Shrum. She had postulated that Dumbledore was a selfish dick for what he did. At first when she put this out on social media, I argued against it. But as I'm rereading it now, I kind of agree with her.

Dumbledore dropped Harry with his only blood relatives. Relatives that aren't wizards. I know that's what Campbell says is supposed to happen and it's handwaved away by Dumbledore with some excuse of him being raised an ego maniac or something to that effect. The only reason he would choose to do this was so that he could show up and be the big hero to Harry and therefore the world since Harry is literally a living weapon since he is the only thing that was able to stop Voldemort, a Voldemort that was banished (or something) but not gone. How Dumbledore, a schoolmaster, managed to smuggle away the only weapon they had against the Dark Lord for some ego trip is quite fascinating on some level.

Now the story teller in me instantly started assembling the story of the time period. The war is over thanks to an improbable victory that no one witnessed. They've figured out that Harry is the key, yet somehow Dumbledore talks the governing body to hide him with Muggles that have no hope of protecting him. There were other options. Lots of wizards and witches died in the war, there had to be lots of orphans, it would be easy to move him to another family as an orphan. who could abuse him not knowing who he is and you'd still be able to tell the story. (Already my brain is working out the story of a "working class wizard" or something like that.) Or a young, trusted, lesser branch of a powerful wizarding family could've spirited him away far from the wizarding world and raised him as a wizardHagrid. Yes, you'd lose some of the wonder of Harry discovering he's a wizard, but Rowling's talented enough that she could work around that. Or you could ship him off to America with an "uncle." There were options that Dumbledore ignored...cause he was kind of a dick.

A story I want to see/write myself: the post wizards war world. The wizarding world is in tatters. A generation of wizards and witches lost. Shattered families reunite Death Eaters with their Ministry siblings. The Ministry tries to reassemble the world that was destroyed while the specter of the Dark Lord skulks in the shadows of everyone's fragile minds, all while one of the most famous wizards in the world secretly spirits away the only reason the war is over: a living weapon swaddled in a baby's blanket.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

The Working Out/ Writing Correlation

I'm obese. A little over five years ago I had weight loss surgery and went from around 360 pounds down to about 275 pounds. I've ballooned up, but I'm still nowhere near as big as I was. I'm working on it and I've lost about 20 of the 30ish I've gained back since, but I still don't feel as good as I did, so I'm making changes and they are going well. I've always wanted to be strong. Like unreasonably strong. It's a character motif in my writing because it's something I'm impressed with, so I've been following a strength training program called StrongLifts and I'm signing up for a beginner strongman class at the end of this month, I'll update the progress as I make it. I've been doing great so far. Almost all my lifts have doubled and I'm very happy with it. As I've been doing this, I've noticed there is a correlation between the two. Let me explain.

It is in my nature to be lazy. Lazy and scatterbrained. Great combination for a writer and a teacher, right? This is why I have four tabs open in Chrome and five documents open in MS Word. My wife is out grocery shopping, my daughter is with her cousins and my son is enraptured by people opening and playing with toys on YouTube. So I have some work time. My notebook open to the page where I've scribbled some plans for the first three days of summer school, an open bottle of Snapple Diet Peach Tea and two printed out Summer School calendars for planning. And I'm kind of happy. At least I'm writing.

Finding excuses not to write is an easier activity than writing. And I noticed the same is true with working out. It's often easier to say, "Oh, I have to do THIS" instead and skip a workout. However, I don't feel better about it. I actually feel better when I decide to workout. And I've noticed the same thing about writing. I feel better when or as I'm doing it than I would otherwise. There's a GAME OF THRONES marathon on HBO right now. Cooper is uninterested in the TV and I could sit down at watch it. Or try to write while it's on...but we all know how that's going to go. I mean WINTER IS COMING and all. (And that makes me think of my epic fantasy project WINTER'S DISCORD and I don't want to be sad, so I'm moving along.)

Maybe that's the lesson I need to learn. I'm happier and in a healthier state of mind when I'm working. They'll be time enough to lay about and do mindless things. You need mindless things sometimes, right now isn't one of those times for me right now. Right now, I've got to write like I'm running out of time.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Running Out Of Time: Plans for July

If you follow me in any capacity, you know my unhealthy obsession with HAMILTON. One of my favorite quotes from the musical is from the song "Non-Stop" when Aaron Burr asks in an aside "Write day and night like you're running out of time?" It's become a mantra to me because it's hard to feel like I'm running out of time as a writer. So, I've decided I'm going to work triply hard to write more than I usually can in the month of July. It's not going to be easy, but I think I can do it if I set my mind to it. So, as Ben Franklin used to say (who as I'm reading more and more about the founding fathers was kind of a dick), "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail." So, I'm thinking about what I have to do. I usually write this in my notebook and leave it at that, but one of the things I'm setting out to do is try and blog every day. (I'm taking requests!) So here goes.

First, what am I working on? Well, here's a list of things I'm working on/ thinking about working on:

  1. Writing THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE. Okay, let me talk about this. I have no idea what this project is. I can't exactly describe it but I'm completely in love with the project and it's drawn me in. It's unlike anything I've ever written before. And I think it's pretty decent. It's based on a story in the news a few months back that drew me right in and I just started writing the story on the last day of May. It's a possibly supernatural thriller, though I go back and forth about actually doing that. As of now, it's got supernatural elements in it, but I'm not married to it and some of my closest advisers are suggesting I keep it supernatural, so we'll see. I'm about 34k in (no, seriously) and I'm making a run at finishing it by the end of the month.
  2. Blog every day.
  3. Planning the next original fiction project: a GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY flavored epic fantasy. I've got some notes on it along with some ideas about the world and plot, but it's early. We'll see. I don't know what it's going to be, audience wise, but we'll see.
  4. THE STORY OF AN UNNAMED APOCALYPSE. I came up with this nutty idea for an Instagram account in the same vein as the Bladerunner Reality account. I want to take pictures of things I see in public, interesting Internet pictures or pictures that people send me of images that could be seen as post-apocalyptic in nature with a 250-300 word excerpt from a post-apocalyptic novel I'll probably never write. 
Now, factor in the fact that I have summer school this year starting on July 5th from 8-12 every morning, I think doing this is plausible. So, what's my plan?
  1. GIRL: One of the weirder parts of this book is that I'm pantsing it for the most part, though I've been planning more and more now that I'm further in. As I see it, based on an exercise I did using a writing book I was reading, it's going to be anywhere from 75-85k words, meaning I have about 40-50k to write, meaning I'd have to do a NANO. Very doable considering my schedule. 
  2. Blog every day: I can manage that, though I'm looking for things my audience wants me to talk about. 
  3. GOTG Fantasy: Plan for an hour or so once a week in my notebook. 
  4. Instagram Fiction: 2-3 entries a week. 
  5. Plan WEEKLY for school. Take one day a week and plan out everything I'm doing with my students so I can maximize writing time. 
  6. WAKE UP EARLIER: Ugh, I'm dreading this one, but I need to maximize my writing time. 
I can do this. I just have to write day and night like I'm running out of time.

Wish me luck. (And if you see me in public with a notebook in hand or headphones on and I don't say hi, please understand this is why.)

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Half Year Review

Instead of a monthly recap, I decided to do a check in half way through the year. So, here's the what I've been up to in 2017 thus far.

I've killed it in the reading department in 2017. Taking Lent off from social media helped, but I've crushed reading in 2017 and I intend to continue that trend. I've read 84 books so far this year. That's more than I've read in any year in my life. Seriously. And I'm reading more pages per book than I have in years past. Here's the breakdown of what I've read this year so far:

  • 40 graphic novel collections
  • 28 novels
  • 8 writing books
  • 3 nonfiction books
  • 3 movie/tv show art books
  • 2 memoirs/autobiographies/biographies
Sure, you could look at it that I've padded my numbers with graphic novel collections but I do enjoy them. I'm hoping to finish out the year with 120 books. I'm hoping to delve into some of my epic fantasies I've wanted to "study" do a while and I've got a drawer full of potential books. I still want to make a run at finishing WHEEL OF TIME. I want to dip my toe into some Rothfuss and maybe give Tad Williams a run. But I've got about seven books I want to finish first, between ARCs and library books. Now, what you're more interested in. What are the best books I've read so far in 2017 and why. So, here we go:

  • ROYAL BASTARDS by Andrew Shvarts: A great example of what a good YA fantasy is and helped see some of the mistakes I made in some of my attempts. 
  • THE DUKE OF BANNERMAN PREP by Katie Nelson: A terrific retelling of Gatsby without being just a retelling of Gatsby. 
  • THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN MUSICAL by Jack Viertel: An interesting look at the structure of a musical and how to use that as a writing model. 
  • THE IMPOSSIBLE FORTRESS by Jason Rekulak: A nostalgic look back at a time when "pornography" came wrapped in cellophane not accessible to anyone with a phone.
  • THE REST OF US JUST LIVE HERE by Patrick Ness: Not from 2017, but a near perfect execution of a perfect premise: what happens in the "Chosen One" stories when the characters aren't the chosen one? 
  • WHITE TRASH by Nancy Isenberg: The entire last election cycle explained. 
  • LUSTLOCKED by Matt Wallace: The wedding of the year goes awry and only a magical catering company can stop it. 
  • MYSTIC RIVER by Dennis Lehane: Another older book that is just a master class in novel writing. 


It's been a good year of reading so far. 


I've had a decent year writing. Looking at my goals, I scrapped almost all of my writing plans. I hit a wall, unable to decide on a project. I think I became disenchanted with fantasy because I was failing so miserably at finding something that was noteworthy. I think what I wrote was good, but I don't know if it was outstanding. Or at least that it stood out. I set out to write around 350k words for the year. So what have I written so far?

  • Finished first draft of THE PENSIONER'S BROOCH (34k)
  • Finished a requested rewrite of WINTER'S DISCORD (135k)
  • Working on first draft of THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE (34k)
So that puts me at about 203k for the year. Well on pace. Just have to keep it up. I'm really excited about the new project and I'm hoping to finish it before the end of July. I'm intending to work on some planning for the next project after that as well during the month. So, I'm happy in that regard. 

I've gotten some requests from agents to look at some of my work, including a project that I didn't think would get the traction that it's getting but it is. We'll see how that plays out. 


School is over, so that's good.

Summer school starts in a week, so that's meh. But there's still time to write.

Still recovering from the fire, which I'll talk about at some point but not now. I'll have time to write, which is good, but I'll have other things to do.

I'm working out again, getting stronger. I'm signing up for a strongman class. I've lamented I don't have a hobby...I'm hoping I can make this my hobby. 

I'm planning on trying to really step up all my writing in the coming months. I'm going to give a run at blogging every day. I'll talk more about it on July 1. 

Alright. Let's roll. 

Monday, June 12, 2017

An Addendum About Dreams

I thought a lot about my post over the last 24 hours and I almost made this addendum on in the post, but I decided to keep the post as is, but decided I needed to address something that was bothering me about it.

I am in no way, shape and form unhappy in the way my life has turned out. I have an amazing wife that I love more today than when we first fell in love twenty years ago. I have two amazing children that fill my heart and soul to bursting. If you've met me in person for five minutes, you know how much my family means to me. I have a decent job that I like and could see loving under the right circumstances, but I'm not as miserable as some people are at what they do for a living. I'm still writing. I haven't given up that chase in the least. I've just have different priorities now.

Had the older me come to talk to the younger me about taking my writing a little more serious, I wouldn't have the life I have now. And seriously, is that the life worth living?

Hey, maybe the older me did have the opportunity to go back and tell the younger me what to do. He just knew better.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

On Fathers, Dreams and Regret

This past weekend I took a road trip alone with my father from my home in Liverpool, New York to a piece of property in Delaware. Twelve hours in a car with my father. We're both talkers, so lack of conversation wasn't going to be a problem. Conversation wandered from the sordid hillbilly epic of my father and his Delaware neighbors that was the reason we were going down there (my father has a friend named Snake and it wasn't the guy from the Simpsons) to how he believes that Donald Trump will make America great again (that wasn't a great conversation and was changed quickly) to how he thinks people that hate Muslims are morons (my father is a paradox). After taking care of everything and headed home, we talked some more. It was mellower and somehow deeper conversation.

Now, first let me add some brief context to this. While we were in Delaware and my father was conducting the business he needed to, I managed to finish read Dennis Lehane's MYSTIC RIVER. My God, if you haven't read this book, it is a master class in novel writing. I can't think of a book that moved me this much since maybe GAME OF THRONES. No, really, That level. Anyway, there is a great passage in that novel that I read while at my daughter's lacrosse practice that made me gasp so loud that I was afraid the people around me thought I was having a heart attack or something. It was a short, two sentence paragraph that just blew me away:

"It seemed to Sean-sometimes-that he and his father may have once talked about more than just incidental things, but for the life of him, Sean couldn't remember what those things may have been. In the fog that was his remembrance of being young, he feared he'd invented intimacies and moments of clear communication between his father and him that, while they'd achieved a mythic stature over the years, never happened."

There are many sons out there that read that right now and probably had the same reaction. There are many sons out that that read that paragraph and shook your head because you have no idea what that's like. I think most of us sons fall into one of those two categories. I fall into the former not the latter. And I'm okay with that. But as my father and I talked in the car, I talked about dreams.

One of my students' favorite questions is what would I have told the high school me if I could go back in time. I tell them that I would've told 16 year old me to take his writing a little more serious than I did. I follow that up by telling my students then they would've never met me. When asked why, I tell them that'd I'd probably be writing televisions shows instead. When I told my father this, he said what a lot of people do: it's not too late. I laughed.

I'm a 44 year old father of two. I have responsibilities that supersede my dreams. My father scoffed at this. This is a sticking point between the two of us that I won't discuss here. I'll save that for the therapist. As selfish as I think I am sometimes, I don't have that in me. My whole job now is to do the best job to provide for my kids, emotionally and financially. I can't follow some whim that I dream of being a writer so I'm just going to quit working to go follow some dream. I said that I missed my shot. My shot now (writing novels and such) is down the priority list and my father again scoffed. Then I said my sole job was to do everything I could to make sure my kids could achieve their dreams. It was at that moment that I realized I had kind of unconsciously taken a swipe at my old man. And that was not my intent. I'm uncomfortable blaming my parents for any of my errors, habits, mistakes, psychosis and hang-ups,

This was a good time to shut up. But you know how that goes. So, I kept talking and I mentioned regret. I don't have a ton. I really don't, but I recognized an aspect of my personality that may have held me back. First, I don't take risks. My father agreed with that. I always took the safe, comfortable route. Comfort being the key word. The path of least resistance. There was so much I should've done, moved outside what I was comfortable doing and take a risk. Why did I stay working at Wegmans when I could've lived with my dad in Queens and experienced New York City? Why didn't me and my friends leave to go southwest or to Florida? Why didn't I just pack my car up and go somewhere? Because those were risks and I didn't like taking a risk. And I was never willing to sacrifice that comfort to take a risk.

So, now here I sit. A weary high school English teacher that secretly dreams of being a television show writer. Maybe I'm the paradox.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Book Review: Royal Bastards

If you read my reviews/blog, you know how much I love tropes. And I love the skill it takes to weave these tropes into a good story without sounding derivative. The YA dystopia thing has hit that level since everything just kind of sounds like everything else. I finished a book today that is the very definition of the Exactly What It Says On The Tin trope: Royal Bastards by Andrew Shvarts. And it was terrific.

Royal Bastards is described as "Game of Thrones meets the Breakfast Club" and it is literally exactly what it says on the tin. It's damn near perfect and s thoroughly enjoyable YA fantasy adventure that plays with the tropes of epic fantasy with a terrific YA voice. And that's one of the many things that blew me away about this book. It takes tons of elements from the GOT show/book while blending them into that '80s aesthetic of THE BREAKFAST CLUB....he even pulls off a training montage in the middle of the book that I literally could hear HEARTS OF FIRE playing in the background.  

If you've followed my blog, you know that I've crafted my own YA Game of Thrones book, but this book really made me sort of realized where I had failed. Shvart's voice is just amazing. From the opening page, you are just drawn in with the way he's telling this massive tale. I'll often complain about 1st person POV in a book like this, but Tilla's voice in the story was well drawn, inclusive and just very...well, Tilla. 

The worldbuilding is stellar. He paints a clear picture of the world (since I had an eARC, I didn't get a map and according to the author, it's spectacular!) and the people in it without overwhelming you with it. Shvarts uses every tool to do so and does it really, really well, including a brilliant use of the "useful idiot" narrative tool. My former agent introduced me to this concept, the useful idiot is a character used to explain something the reader doesn't know without just info dumping it in the narrative. From the individual provinces, of which we only see a sliver, to the Zitochi tribesmen, a well-drawn, just complex enough group that could have easily turned into the stereotypical savaged but come across more like "Aiel Lite" (and I mean that as a compliment). Using the Avatar: The Last Airbender method, he fills the world around him with wildlife dangers that sound familiar but just different enough that we know we aren't in Kansas anymore I'm eager to see how the rest of this world is introduced to us.

The plot is stellar. Familiar enough but written with skill and panache. (Wow, I just used panache in a review.) It moves quickly, just one the edge of breakneck and it's one of the things I liked most about the book. Shvart's pacing is terrific and he gives you just enough moments to catch your narrative breath (and these are the perfects spots that he injects his outstanding worldbuilding) between the moments of high tension that rely on the craftiness and skills of the said bastards to get out of the various sticky situations that arise as they run to save their world. The twists and turns are great and while I predicted some, it didn't diminish my enjoyment of them in the least. Shvart's skill shows through. He sets up the next book almost brilliantly with his wildly satisfying solution that seems to take parts of bunches of other things and blends them together into a nice smoothie.

I really loved this book and it's another book that I'm jealous of because it's so similar to what I wrote and shopped but didn't quite stick the way that I'd hoped. It showed some of my story's shortcomings and things I could probably improve on when I give it a shot again. I can't rave about this book enough. It's easily on my Best of 2017 list and it'll be a contender for the top book of 2017.