Indecision

I was on quite a blog tear to start the year then I just sort of petered out. I have some ideas for posts but none came together the way I wanted. Then I hit a little bit of a stride on a new project (a MG "kids on bikes" adventure set in 1988) and that took precedence over my personal writing. Until last week. I wouldn't say that I hit a wall on the project so much as a speed bump. An element of the story wasn't coming together the way that I wanted it to and work slowed. There are other factors, too. One factor, in particular, has been at the center of my recent struggles in writing. A sense of complete and total indecision at which project to work on. 

If Tyrion doesn't know, how should I?

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A part of my brain wanted to work on my updated version of THE FALLING DARK, a trunked novel that I reworked into my "21st Century DRAGONLANCE." I've planned that out with a seven page narrative outline and it's ready to go. But to be honest, I don't want to worldbuild. Not now at least. And I feel that it needs a proper worldbuilding session or two before I write it. It's closest to one that's ready to be written. But part of it feels like it's just more of the same from me. YA adjacent epic fantasy. Just like SUMMER'S SON before it died on the vine (even though I think that's a good book idea too), I fear that's what's going to happen to DARK. This is my own self-doubt creeping in and preventing me from doing things. 

Another part of my brain cried out for me to work on the "dad"/"airport" book that I want to write. I've jotted down a few ideas here and there, but once again, nothing concrete enough to expend the energy on. Plus, I don't know if I know enough about the genre to write in it. I floundered for a long time, desperate to write something worth my while but nothing was presenting itself. Then came the new project. 

The launching point was a creative writing assignment I gave to my students based on Stephen King's THE BODY (STAND BY ME). I modeled how to write a logline and a 1-2 page pitch/synopsis/plan for a story idea similar in tone and subject matter as the book. The entire process sparked something inside of me and after a sputtering start, I was off and running, until I hit my speed bump. 

The "fun and games" part of the story isn't coming together as well as I'd like. I'm trying to figure out why that is. Maybe I'm trying too hard to stick close to the Save the Cat story structure. I just need to find the connective tissue between where I am and where I want to go. It's there, I can feel it. I'm groping around in the dark looking for it when I find other things, like an old project rising up and demanding attention. 

As I hit my little lull last week, THE LOST SCIONS popped its head in and let me know that it wanted some attention. And I gave it a little. There's something in my bones that's telling me to do something with it. I'm trusting my bones this time and giving it some attention. But at what cost? There's only so much energy to go around. See what I mean? Indecision. 

So, what am I going to do about all this? 

I'm going to make a plan and stick to it this time. I'm about 1/3 of the way through NIGHT. That's going to be the starting point. I'm going to plug away at it and wrap it up this month. Then I'm going to sit down and decide how I'm going to tackle the rest. Step by step. How's that for being decisive? I'll let you know how it goes.